Therapy and Tightropes

Therapy. The term in itself describes a process of self discovery and solutions. You go to therapy because you are dissatisfied with current situations (physical or mental) with the goal of the situation going away, to be fixed.  You’re aim is to make it over the tightrope, cross over the scary pit underneath, and make it to the other side.
My goal this past year has been just that; being “fixed.”  Throughout this blog I’ve oscillated between behavioral changes and acceptance to make it to the other side where I’ll feel better.  This has not created the balance needed for success, at least the balance I had imagined. Balance in itself is a perilous state of two opposing forces working against each other at the very point neither force outweighs the other; this is a far cry from the zen-ness I had imagined.  I had romanticized the journey without taking into account that learning to adjust to disturbances is a requirement.
I needed to develop a new outlook on growth that allows me to not be perfect or remain in the state of ideal balance.  In addition to understanding the journey, my view of the destination has began to change as well.  Life is neither black and white, neither balanced or unbalanced; it is a constant interaction between parts of a whole. Life is about constant adjustments and the idea of balance is a constant dance of falling and flying.
I hope to take this new perspective of acceptance and continuous adjustment into 2015. I desire not to be fixed but to allow myself to grow.  Excited and nervous, this is a tightrope I’m excited to practice walking on.

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