It’s been about 3 weeks since I’ve posted. WAY TO LONG. I took some time to get things straight for the upcoming wedding and also pushing myself to make some art/create great music. Several things have happened during this hiatus. I was able to start meditating again and have really worked to reframe my state of mind. I spend so much time judging myself and expecting myself to do things a certain way that I don’t actually do them. I need to have distractions taken care of (cleaning, to do lists, wedding checklists, friends I’ve neglected…. you get the point) before I let myself yield to myself. I’m beginning to recognize how backwards this is. If I breath into myself and listen to the voice that I try so hard to shut off, all the pieces will fall. Sure it won’t be smooth all the time, but it will all happen without my trying. I’ll be living it. There comes a time where you just have to get out of your own way. So when my mind races, obviously I have a great idea and I need to at least put it down somewhere. When I’m stressed about nothing, I need to focus on right now to put my fears in check. I’ve watched my fiancé and I grow over the past month and truly be fulfilled because we are making music, singing, writing, and yielding to our true nature. All the things I’ve kept discovering about myself over the past few weeks and through writing all lead me to the same conclusion. I am fine. I am creative. I am talented. I will be ok as long as I’m myself. God created me beautifully and the more I push against that, the less productive and at peace I am. Thanks for your patience while I continue to increase the volume on what I already know. Remember, to take the time to listen to yourself and do things the way you do them. It’s ok. If you’re really listening to yourself you’ll hear all the infinite answers you’ve ever wondered.
April 20, 2014. Colored Pencils
therapy 