Let’s take a minute to talk about safety. The reason we don’t move forward with most things in life is fear and lack of trust. This has been talked about over and over in my posts. But how do you identify safety in a world that is full of trap doors? It’s a hard one, but it becomes clear when train your brain to see reality and not your past.
Unfortunately this distinction is not always clear; even if you don’t flashback to an actual event you may revisit a similar feeling from a prior situations in which you felt taken advantage of, hoodwinked, bamboozled, had… Skills can be learned to bring yourself back to the present moment to really identify what your needs are and if it’s a safe situation to get those met. Many times, I have to take a deep breath and say, “Elise, it is ok. _____ would never do anything to hurt you. What is it that you want right now?” The second part of this is to listen. The same way I’ve talked about listening to your authentic self applies here. Your inner voice not only tells you your dreams but also if those around you are safe people to nurture you.
This is difficult, but not impossible. Still after 6 years and a wedding this weekend I have remind myself daily that my fiancé is not “out to take advantage of me” but his only desire is to shower me with unconditional love. Unconditional love means that my needs are above his and by nurturing me to get my needs met, he is fulfilled. It’s amazing and scary for me at the same time. However, I just have to close my eyes and say to myself, “Greg is safe. He loves me and has never shown me otherwise. I am safe.”
Who makes you safe and do you interact with them in a way that allows you to safely grow? Be vulnerable with them because they are safe forces in your life whose purpose is not to let you fall. When you acknowledge, accept, and explore your reality you will begin to experience true security, safety, and freedom. I’ll be back to do more writing, reflecting, and art post wedding! Everyone enjoy your safety.